2 + 2 = 4.00000

Sunny Wednesday afternoon and I'm heading back to work. The sun drenches. Colours are extra special today and all humans and animals are in a post-luch coma. A little kid about 2 feet tall is trying to thumb a ride near the railway tracks so I stop for him. He climbs on to Cockroach over the course of a minute making it look like an Everst ascent. Presently we start moving and I begin interrogating him in the local lingo - Kannada.
Me: So what's your name?
Him: Kartik
Me: What school do you go to?
Him: St. Anthony's public school
Me: What grade are you in?
Him: Grade 5
Me: What's your favourite subject?
Him: English
Me: English? So do you speak any English?
Him: A little bit
* language of interrogation changes to English here *
Me: So what's your name?
Him: Mai name is Kaartik
Me: How old are you Kartik?
Him: I am olding fine
* hmmm.... *
Me: Sorry - how old are you Kartik?
Him: I AM OLDING FINE

* suddenly I figure out his logic and the afternoon silence is shattered by my helpless laughter *

How are you = I am fine
How old are you = I am olding fine

Super! He made my day. I finish laughing, give him some English lessons and drop him home.

Karmacoma

reporting from nottingham, england. where the sun doesn't shine and all the boys like to wear eye makeup and make like vampires. ok, not all. but lots.

so i wake up and think today's massive attack day super. look out of the window. it's snowing after days of rain. super. everything's white and pretty and im going to london, which i love to see a band that i love with kate who i like. it's all super.

till she calls and tells me that she's fallen really sick and cant come. i would probably still make it if i was hit by a truck the night before, but anyway. every man to himself.

so i try to see if anyone else is free, but the british plan their weekends three months in advance, so no go. so anyway, i get on the train and sit next to this mother and daughter. and the daughter looks outside the window at a sign on the platform that says 'do not alight on this side.' so she asks her mother what alight means and her mother thinks for a bit and then says really confidently- think calvin's dad- it means you can't smoke on the platform. so i pretend to laugh at something in the book i'm reading. train rides are the best part of england. seriously.

so then london comes and i take the tube to brixton, where the concert is. while im waiting for my friend nitya to come- apparently a free ticket to massive attack is not that hard to get rid of. go figure- i meet this polish guy named damien whose handing out flyers on the road and tells me he wants to marry me because he likes my eyes. i tell him maybe after the concert.

the concert's in this indoor stadium called carling academy and its supposed to be this fake greek amphiteatre kinda thing. quite cool. it takes awhile for the opening acts to start but there's beer and food and no one's complaining. i see this really old couple sitting on the slope with their arms around each other and imagine them blasting mezannine or inertia creep in their living room.

the main opening act is this guy singing songs about jesus with an orchestra and gospel backup singers, which i wasn't expecting. but it was nice.


and then massive attack come on and the whole energy just changes. the main guy's dressed up in some sort of navy uniform and looking quite serious and singing-saying all the serious things he says (karmacoma) and then as soon as he's done he starts jumping around like a mad man. it's awesome.

and the jamaican (?) guy - i've always wanted to see what he looks like - who does angel and all those ones , looks like my uncle.

the night just keeps getting better and better. i don't think they missed even one of my favourite songs. teardrop was the best i think. and hymn of the big wheel was really peaceful and everyone got really quite and starting waving their hands and being in tune with the universe and all. and then- ironic- they finished with unfinished sympathy, which has to be one of the best songs in the world.

quite a super night on the whole, which extended to a super weekend in london. except when someone stole my wallet on the tube and i didn't have any money and my ticket to get out of the tube wouldn't work and i couldn't get out and i thought i would be riding from station to station my whole life and was on the verge of a massive panic attack till a nice guy with a hat let me use his ticket to get above ground.